Mirror Mirror II
Things of the Soul
(Self-Awareness: How It Actually Works)
Self-awareness is a broad, layered topic that naturally flows into other areas of life. And honestly, I think a lot of people misunderstand it. I’ve read articles online where I’m like, “What the heck is this dude talking about?”
Here’s my definition:
Self-awareness is an unbiased inner eye that observes all you do and judges you—not in a “condemnation” way, but in a way that measures your actions against what is right or wrong, good or bad, polite or rude, patient or impatient.
And here’s the key:
If your value system is flawed, your self-awareness will also be compromised. What happens if you don’t have a value system at all? Think of self-awareness as the collaboration between your conscience and subconscious. It’s not the thing that enforces change; it’s more like the CIA or a CCTV system—watching, recording, and filing everything for later review. That’s why self-evaluation is essential.
We started this conversation about self-awareness last month in Mirror Mirror. That was an overview. This time, let’s talk about how self-awareness actually happens.
Self-Awareness Is Always On
Your brain and your soul are simple yet complex, and self-awareness works in both the conscious and subconscious. Some signals are loud and obvious; others are subtle—almost invisible.
It’s present in every interaction:
The words you say
Your facial expressions
Your tone
Your thoughts and intentions
How you imagine the conversation going
The emotions you feel before, during, and after
Whenever you think, “I might have overreacted”, that’s self-awareness. It’s not about regulating feelings in the moment; it’s about regulating you as a person.
Why Values Matter
Self-awareness needs a measuring stick—your value system. Without it, your “surveillance” has nothing to compare you against.
Where do values come from?
60–70%: family and upbringing
The rest: environment, culture, and what you consume
The Process of Self-Awareness
Everything your subconscious picks up is screened against these values with questions like:
Is this right?
Is this who I am?
Is this who I want to be?
Your conscience takes that data and asks:
Was that how I wanted to communicate?
Was that word/reaction necessary?
How did they feel when I said that?
Is interacting with this person good for me?
Then comes the conclusion stage—your internal accountability:
That was rude of me. I’ve been doing this more often in certain situations. Why?
Given what I went through last week, I did okay, but I can do better.
I can’t stand those guys, but that was basically stealing, even if they “deserved” it.
When Self-Awareness Fails
Remember, we have two types of Self-unawareness. The process of self-awareness ends at:
The Unaware by Default – The signals stop at the subconscious level and never make it to your conscience.
The Unaware by Choice – You’re trying to be someone else, so you shut down both conscious and subconscious processing to avoid guilt.
Self-awareness is monitoring + honesty.
It’s the ability to pick up those signals and interpret them accurately. And yes, it takes practice. If you don’t train yourself to notice, you won’t be able to properly evaluate or change yourself. You must stay alert to them in order to move into true self-evaluation.
The goal? To be awake to yourself—so you can better perceive others, and more importantly, better perceive God and spiritual truth.